This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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