Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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