Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
