They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Randomize
