We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize