Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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