I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
