Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize