this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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