You just made me feel so damn special
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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