Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I could fuck to npr.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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