She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
