Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
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