Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
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