It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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