i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
