If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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