omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
