Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
