He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
