I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
