He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
