Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Randomize
