Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
