Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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