no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Randomize
