I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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