brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
