i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Randomize
