I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Randomize
