so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
