I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
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