dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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