What did we do last night that was yellow?
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
