i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
