the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
