"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
