You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I can't put those talents on a resume
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
