john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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