Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
