I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize