Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
