You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
