im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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