i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I wear drunk well.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
