hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize