did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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