dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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