he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
