well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize
