i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
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