That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
