I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
