She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
i now understand why vodka
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Randomize
