I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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