So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
