Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Boobs are out for the taking
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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