I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
