just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
