Me too!
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Can I color on your dick again?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
At least life still wants to fuck me.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
