sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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