Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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