I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Randomize
