I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
