fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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