What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
