You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
